Sometimes psychotherapy does not bring the desired results or even hurts. In this case, it should be stopped. We have compiled a checklist of what should not happen during the session.
We have written more than once that it is difficult to independently assess the professionalism of a psychologist. And yet there are obvious signs that may indicate this. Check: a good specialist does not behave like this in a session.
Doubts Your Words
He does not seem to believe you, devaluing feelings and words. You have a feeling that everything needs to be proven and justified: the realism of the problems, the reasons for alarm, the presence of a difficult period. Psychotherapy is about acceptance and support, there is no place for mistrust.
Doesn’t Remember What Happened In Previous Sessions
You have to remind the psychologist what you talked about earlier. You have the feeling that you are not being listened to. For successful therapy, a safe space of trust and inclusion of the psychologist in the process is important.
Doesn’t Feel Boundaries The
psychologist allows you to call and write to him at any time and always answers immediately (exception: acute states when the client is thinking about suicide). Such relationships are unhealthy. They form a client’s dependence on a psychologist instead of helping them learn to solve problems on their own.
Just Talking To You About The Problem
You don’t have a work plan, goals, exercises, or any real work on the problem. One gets the feeling that you and the psychologist just communicate in a friendly way (exception: the first sessions, when the psychologist tries to get to know you better and understand the situation).
If you used to work on different situations in psychotherapy, and lately you’ve been “just talking about life” more and more, most likely you have achieved your goals and it’s time for you to take a break from therapy.
Talks About Itself
Therapy is about you, the therapy session is your time. The specialist should focus on your tasks, and not share his problems (even if he “fell into a similar situation”).
Gives Promises
“Everything will be fine”, “We will solve the problem in n sessions”, “I will help you achieve exactly what you want”. The truth is that a psychologist does not have magical powers and cannot make such predictions. Therapy is a collaborative effort. Everyone is different, so it’s impossible to say how long it will take for everyone – and it’s also impossible to accurately predict the result.
Gives advice A
psychologist should not impose his picture of the world. Its purpose is to help you understand exactly what you want from your life, as well as help you see how to get there. The expertise of a psychologist is in the ability to listen and hear, ask the right questions, offer techniques and exercises, and not tell you what and how to do in a given situation.
Communicating With You Outside Therapy
An invitation to go somewhere together or agreeing to your invitation is a wake-up call. In therapy, there is a ban on dual relationships: they create an unsafe space for the client and can seriously injure.
Does Not Regulate Process
Everything is somehow “strange”: you did not say the rules of confidentiality; you do not have a clear understanding of when and where the session is; you are engaged in places not intended for therapy (at home with a psychologist or in a cafe); the psychologist does not answer questions about the course of therapy. This suggests that the psychologist does not care about your safety, works unethically, or uses questionable methods.
Uses Violence Or Seduces
This is a gross violation of professional ethics – and in some cases, the criminal or civil code of the Russian Federation. There are no therapeutic methods that would involve violence (psychological, sexual or physical) or sexual relationships. This behavior is just a way to “work out” their big problems on the client, while the clients (even if they don’t notice it at first) are being severely traumatized.
