We all suffer from a bit of social phobia: we get nervous before interviews, we don’t like to call strangers, or we worry that our actions will be judged or ridiculed. These are normal experiences that anyone can have. But what if the fear is so strong that it forces you to avoid all communication situations? From this article, you will learn what social phobia is, how it can express itself, and what needs to be done to overcome it.
What is social phobia?
Social phobia (aka social phobia, social anxiety, or social anxiety disorder) is a strong and persistent fear of interacting with people when there is a risk of “embarrassment.” People suffering from social phobia are afraid that they will behave stupidly or ridiculously, which will cause condemnation, laughter, or even aggression from others.
At the heart of social phobia is the fear of being rejected, ridiculed, or rejected. Everyone has this fear. Humans are social beings; we need to be part of a group. But if social anxiety is elevated, fear fills everything, crowds out all other feelings, and interferes with even the simplest interactions with others. Fear keeps you from wearing bright clothes, changing jobs, and avoiding even the most interesting events and people.This is the difference between social phobia and shyness: negative experiences are so strong and destructive that they seriously interfere with a person’s everyday life.
People with social phobia can be scared not only before or during interactions with people but also after. Most often, they avoid such situations or endure them under great stress.
Typical trigger situations:
- the need to talk to strangers;
- any public speaking
- large crowds of people the
- need to be the center of attention.
- Someone is keeping an eye on you.
- the need to talk to someone of higher position or status
- taking exams
- going to parties
- Dating and dating
- the need to eat or drink in public
- visiting hospitals, hairdressers, and clothing stores
Social phobia can be specific (1-2 social situations cause strong fear) or generalized (all situations where you need to interact with people are equally frightening).
According to a study, the top ten worst symptoms of anxiety in the United States are as follows:
- I am nervous about mixing with people I don’t know well.
- I became tense if I had to talk about myself or my feelings.
- I worry about expressing myself in case I appear awkward.
How Does Social Phobia Express Itself?
Most often, in a trigger situation, a person with social phobia feels discomfort, an “off-scale” feeling that is difficult to describe, let alone control. Signs of social phobia manifest at all levels—in sensations, thoughts, and behavior.
Feelings
A person who suffers from a social phobia is most concerned about the signs of fear and stress that may be noticeable to others. It may be that a person experiences several symptoms at the same time.
- The face turns bright red;
- Feeling that there is not enough air;
- Nausea;
- Hands or feet tremble;
- Heaviness in the chest;
- Heart palpitations;
- Increased sweating;
- Dizziness;
- Tinnitus.
Sometimes the symptoms can be so intense that they can turn into panic attacks.
Thoughts
In the head, assumptions, beliefs, interpretations, and predictions can spin. They focus on the threat a person feels in a situation.
For example:
- “Everyone is looking at me; they are probably thinking something bad.”
- “I act like an idiot.”
- “I am terribly boring, and everyone understands this.”
- “After such an interview, I will definitely not be hired.”
Social phobia is characterized by negative thinking. It enhances the feelings of anxiety, fear, and discomfort one experiences in interactions with others. According to psychologists, people with increased social anxiety:
- They rate themselves more negatively than independent observers.Outsiders, on the other hand, appear to be much less critical than it appears to be socially disturbing.Assessments converge in people with low social anxiety and independent observers.
- More often than not, it is assumed that social situations will end badly and that the consequences will be very negative.
- Focus excessively on information that may indicate possible danger in social situations.
- Neutral facial expressions are more likely to be interpreted as negative.
- They often compare themselves with others and consider them better than themselves. This usually reinforces the social phobia. People with low social anxiety perceive others as similar to themselves or worse, and after comparison, they do not feel as bad as those who suffer from this disorder.
- They tend to exaggerate how noticeable the symptoms of social anxiety are to others and how much they affect their opinions.
Behavior
Most often, people with high social anxiety choose avoidance. They try their best not to end up in a frightening situation, or they strive to end it as quickly as possible. For example, they come to a party but run away after fifteen minutes.
Avoiding a fearful situation helps reduce fear in the here and now. But in the long run, this only prolongs it because it does not give a positive experience. In practice, the situation may turn out to be much less frightening than it seems. In addition, the more a person avoids an unpleasant situation, the more difficult it will be for him to experience it if he still has to find himself in it.
Feelings, thoughts, and behavior feed each other and are connected in one disturbing cycle. For example, if my hands begin to shake, a panicky thought may follow (“Everyone will notice that my hands are shaking and decide that I am crazy”) and a desire to run away from the meeting. Or vice versa: if, before an important presentation, you think that no one will like it, this can “call” the physical symptoms of fear—the heart will beat faster, the head will spin.
Causes of Social Phobia and Consequences
Social phobia is very common; recent studies show that the number of people suffering from the symptoms of this disorder is on the rise.
In 2019, a study among young adults in seven countries was conducted: Brazil, China, Indonesia, Russia, Thailand, the United States, and Vietnam. In total, the researchers interviewed 6825 people aged 16–29 years. Every third person was exposed to one or another symptom of social phobia. At the same time, every sixth of the respondents did not realize their difficulties; they fit the criteria but declared that they did not suffer from social phobia.
Social phobia usually first express itself in childhood or adolescence, usually at 10–13 years of age. Some clients of psychologists and psychotherapists note that the fear of interacting with people has always been with them for as long as they can remember. For others, it first express itself in a stressful situation associated with humiliation and awkwardness.
Psychologists believe that social phobia most of all prevents young adults aged 18–24 from living. As they graduate from school and become more independent from their families, they have to face a lot of new social situations that can cause and perpetuate fear.
People think it’s just part of their personality, and it can’t be changed. And if the disorder affects a child during childhood, he or she may be able to “outgrow” it.
Consequences of social phobia
- People are more likely to be
- They are more likely to drop out of school early and are less qualified.
- more likely to take time off from work and have problems with productivity.
- Some are not able to work with people at all.
- On average, those with social phobia earn less.
- More often, people refuse promotion if it requires social interaction.
- Often, people with this disorder have few friends.
- They are less likely to marry and divorce.
- They frequently struggle with daily activities.
Despite the difficulties that social anxiety disorder brings, only half of the adults who suffer from it seek help. And those who do apply, by the time they visit a specialist, have been suffering from symptoms for 15–20 years. One possible explanation is that people believe that this is just part of their personality and that it cannot be changed. And if the disorder affects a child during childhood, he or she may be able to “outgrow” it.
Also, scientists note that specialists often do not pay attention to the symptoms of social anxiety. This is largely due to the fact that social phobia often comes with other mental disorders or addictions.
Many studies confirm the mutual relationship between alcoholism and social phobia.
For example, a person seeks help to treat depression, anxiety disorders, and alcoholism. And the symptoms of social phobia “paired” with them are not given due attention, although perhaps it was she who became the cause of the accompanying problem. For example, people often drink to feel more confident at parties, and this can result in alcoholism. Many studies confirm the mutual relationship between alcoholism and social phobia. They suggest that early detection and treatment of the symptoms of social phobia can help avoid future addictions.
How to Deal With Social Phobia
Social phobia can be successfully treated. The most effective is the combination of medication and psychotherapy. Antidepressants successfully reduce anxiety and the intensity of its manifestations at the physical level. And with a psychologist, you can work through irrational thoughts and beliefs that feed and reinforce social phobia.
It’s like in a computer game where, having failed at a level, you can go through it again, figuring out how to act correctly along the way.
Exposure therapy is also very effective. This approach is based on the principle of “looking your fear in the eye.” The client must be present in the situation that scares them the most, or imagine it as vividly as possible.Gradually, a person gets used to the situation, and his anxiety decreases. It’s like in a computer game where, having failed at a level, you can go through it again, figuring out how to act correctly along the way. In real life, this can be an exercise in asking strangers on the street for directions until it is no longer embarrassing or terrifying. You will most likely have to repeat the experience many times before you can cope with other frightening situations.
Given that many people have suffered from the symptoms of social phobia for their entire adult lives, accepting change can be difficult. You can, however, gradually overcome your fears and learn to break the disturbing cycle of thoughts and feelings within yourself.
Negative Thoughts Must Be Refuted
Negative thinking is the fuel for social phobia. People with social phobia tend to “read minds”—to assume that others see them as awkward as they perceive themselves. They also often “predict the future”; they assume that interactions with people will end in disaster, so they begin to worry long before the situation.
For example, if you’re worried about a presentation at a work meeting, the thought behind that anxiety might be, “I’m going to screw it up and everyone will think I don’t understand what I’m doing.”
It can help to ask yourself questions in response to negative thoughts: “How do I know that I’m definitely screwing up?” or “Maybe everyone is focused on themselves and will not pay attention to my awkwardness?” A critical approach to intrusive thoughts will help to gradually replace them with more realistic views of the situation.
Shift The Focus Of Attention
When we are in a situation that triggers an attack of social phobia, it is very difficult to break out of the tangle of our disturbing thoughts and feelings. It may seem that everyone around us is looking at us and judging. And he fails to focus on anything other than the physical symptoms of his anxiety, in the hope that it will be better to control and hide them. However, this only makes you more nervous and prevents you from interacting with people.
Shifting your focus from what’s going on inside to the situation itself can help reduce social anxiety. Of course, this is not easy, but gradually you can learn to switch and have positive experiences that will help you deal with anxiety.
Most likely, the people around you are also nervous, or have been nervous in a similar situation in the past, so they know what it is.
Remember that anxiety is not as obvious to others as you think. And even if someone notices that you are nervous, this does not mean that they will think badly of you. Most likely, the people around you are also nervous, or have been nervous in a similar situation in the past, so they know what it is.
In a conversation, focus on what is being discussed now rather than guessing what to say when you are approached. Listen to people, not your negative thoughts that you said or are about to say something stupid.
Don’t try to be perfect. Instead, try to be sincere and attentive; these qualities will definitely be appreciated by the interlocutors.
Face Your Fears
Avoiding scary situations only prolongs social phobia. In addition, it prevents you from achieving what you want; for example, the fear of dating interferes with the desire to find a partner.
Of course, at first, a voluntary encounter with frightening situations seems impossible. But learning to cope can and should be gradual, building confidence and strategies to deal with fear. It is important to start with small challenges and gradually work your way up to things that scare you a lot more.
For example, if talking to strangers triggers your social phobia, you might start by going to a party with an outgoing friend (and hiding behind him, if anything). Once this alignment becomes comfortable, you can move on to the next step, for example, trying to get to know someone.
Don’t try to overcome your biggest social fear right away. It is important to move slowly and not rush things so that you do not inadvertently increase social anxiety instead of reducing it. Try to treat yourself with patience and compassion.
If you can’t manage on your own, try asking for help. With a psychologist, you can work through the most frightening situations, unearth the causes of fear, and defeat it. Online-Therapy has competent and caring professionals.
