Doing sports is good for your health. Read a new novel – there will be something to discuss with friends. But spending a free evening or weekend on this is not always worth it.
You may feel even more tired after your workout. Because they really wanted to lie down and watch a TV series all day.
Together with a psychologist, we have compiled a list of questions to help you understand exactly how you want to relax.
Do I Want To Do It, Or Do I Think I Should?
Do you want to go to the gym because you feel better afterward or because you have to?
“I want” and “should” are often confused. In society, there are ideas about what to do right. For example, it is correct to train three times a week. To understand if you enjoy this activity and such regularity, ask yourself: “Why am I going to do this?”
This way, you will understand your true motivation. For example, you exercise to feel healthy.
It happens that you really like the lesson, but now for some reason, it is difficult. You don’t want to spend time commuting to the fitness club because you’re tired after work. You can find a compromise. For example, change the club to one closer to home or office.
The Power of Motivational Stories and Quotes: A Guide to Personal Transformation
Am I Doing This For The Process Or The Result?
Are you interested in hiking or spending time with friends who will go there? Do you like studying French, or is it necessary for your resume?
The process is driven by intrinsic motivation. For example, you love nature, so you go to the mountains. External motivation is responsible for the result. It may be the desire to learn French to get an interesting job.
It’s important to prioritize. If the goal is to hang out with friends, is it worth it to go camping? This need can be realized another way – to agree on a comfortable format for everyone. For example, rent a cottage with a fireplace and a sauna where you can spend time together.
There are situations when there is a goal and a path to achieve it, but you are not moving along. Let’s say you want to work in a large international company where fluent English is needed. You are trying to learn the language, but it does not work: there is no time, no strength, and you are sick. Perhaps subconsciously, you do not want to achieve the goal. This may be due to the colossal fear of not getting this job – even knowing English. Or with the fear of getting and launching life changes you are not ready for.
How Do I Feel When I Know That I Will Do This Today?
Why is it annoying to think you must go to a concert with your friends? If negative emotions arise, it is important to understand their cause. Ask yourself why you feel this way.
You may have had a hard week at work, and the concert will now take the last of your strength. Or you are tired of communication and want to sit at home in silence. The reason may be the fear of loneliness. If you do not go to this concert, everyone will forget about you and not be invited anywhere else.
How to spot negative emotions
Listen to how the body reacts to emotions. Does this feeling oppress you or hold you down, like something heavy? Or flares up like a flame of anger?
Think about situations in which you experienced similar feelings. What happened then? How is this similar to the current situation?
Ask yourself: “What was I thinking about before I began to feel it?” For example, in a situation with a concert, such an image could flash through: “Ride on the subway, stand in the crowd, they will even delay the beginning, then return home for a long time.” Or you remembered someone unpleasant from the company and did not want to intersect with him.
What Will I Get If I Don’t Do This? What Will I Lose?
Are you afraid to miss the premiere of a new film because you won’t be able to discuss it later in the company?
Assess the realism of your fear. Will your friends really turn their backs on you because of the movie? Or was it the Lost Profit Syndrome (FOMO)?
Read on the topic: What is FOMO and how this fear appears
Analyze what happens if you miss an event. What will you get if you don’t go? For example, time can be spent on recovery or a hobby.
The Mindful Hobbyist: How Engaging in Hobbies Elevates Mental Well-being
What Will I Get, And What Won’t I Get If I Do This?
You want to skip your yoga class. What will it give you? What will you miss?
It is important to formulate why you do not want to do something. For example, you do it because you feel good after training but don’t like yoga. Then it can be replaced with other physical activities – fitness, walking, jogging, or dancing.
You may not want to study today because you are tired. Ask yourself: “Is the result worth the effort I spend?”
To feel good after any activity, the result must exceed our effort. If you understand that after yoga, you feel much better than after an evening on the couch, then you should go to it.
Am I Strong Enough To Do This?
Will the drawing master class support you now, or will it tire you even more?
There are different situations in life: an emergency at work, a difficult move, or health problems. What fills you up normally can only be more exhausting during a stressful period.
Ask yourself if you have the strength for this activity. Perhaps you are now more tired than usual because of the road to the art space. Then you can take a break now and come back later.
Checklist
- To understand whether you want to do something or not, you need:
- Find out the reason why you are doing it.
- Determine what’s stopping you.
- But what is most important to you right now first.
- Find an alternative if you don’t like the activity.
- Think about whether you have enough strength.
